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anthropologylady36

Despair





It is the morning after Election Day. Biden looks to be ahead, however it is shaky and rather than watch the television with a high deal of anxiety, I am just doing something for my own mental health and survival, which is to just pretend he hasn't won. Also Trump, true to form is going to be despicable and ridiculous even in this, as predicted. Absolutely hateful, absolutely an unruly spectacle, histrionic as usual, always the victim, although others are dying around him or mistreated by his administration. Always the poor loser. The spoiled child. Why people attribute his personality to a three year old in development. A big unruly baby throwing a tantrum.

My partner and I watched in what I would call a high state of anxiety as the numbers rolled out and we watched one of our usual mainstream highly liberal news stations. At one point I started crying I felt the need to come upstairs from the comfortable family room where we watched and look at ways on my computer to become a Canadian citizen (not the first time), as I just could not deal with another four years of Trump. I have an MS degree, I may be able to leave. "What are the laws right now with the pandemic going on? Could I get a Visa to work there and work on becoming a citizen?".

I think I felt despair, literal despair at the fact that people in this country could actually vote for this monster in the numbers they have. I expected the Neanderthals with their huge trucks running buses off the road, but I didn't expect the regular Joe on the street. We know Trump's laundry list. The children in cages, the prejudice, the hate that exudes from every pore that Trump has. That is his driving force is hate. He is destroying the eco-system, the environment. For me that just tears my heart out. Just this week, he has taken the North American Gray Wolf off of the endangered species list. He plans to drill for oil in Tongass forest. I don't believe there is anything good or kind about this man. He dismisses the piles of dead people, loved ones, family members as if they were nothing. He has thought in the past that injecting bleach into our body is a good idea. He constantly attacks people he doesn't like with pure hatred that he doesn't like politically, most of the time for no reason.

He is an embarrassment to the rest of the world, he is a buffoon to them. We see him pushing other leaders out of the way for photo ops, walking in front of the queen of England. Pulling us out of pacts where we work with our allies. Coddling evil and tyrannical dictators and saying they are "nice people". He goes after women or color, LGBTQ folks, anyone that isn't a white male, he and his administration discriminate against these people and target them.

With all of this and so much more that I can't name off the top of my head, nearly half the population of the United States has said by voting for him that they think this is okay and I just sit here in disbelief, sick to my soul and feeling despair, because it could be this close when he so clearly is such an evil person. A sociopath that is a malignant narcissistic that considers lack of empathy to be "strength".

Shame on you to the half of our population that thought that this was a suitable leader for our country. Shame on you for voting for him and showing your ignorance. Shame on you if he wins and he can terrorize us and the rest of the world for four more years. I don't know what I will do if he wins at this point. I don't know. I know that my partner who works for the Postal Service sees no hope for his future. I know that my medical insurance that I have, that I get through the marketplace, because I am a contactor and pay a hefty 470 dollars a month for as it isn't just for poor people...well it may not exist soon. I have health problems that may not be addressed in the future that need to be.

Canada is looking good however there may be a problem even taking us as refugees as we all try to migrate in a huge rush as Trump takes office again, we may become refugees like those coming to us from the South of our border. We may not be able to get out, plus we have the pandemic and some countries may not take us because of that alone. We have fatigue from this man, we have a form of trauma. Others I am hearing also feel despair and they have used this word and not about the president winning, but fellow citizens that actually thought he was okay. The amount of energy it takes to have this man for president, when he constantly tweets and does in-proper things, and he is so horrible that he is in the news several times a day for doing corrupt and horrible things, it is exhausting. I think most of us would never want to see his face again and even his voice triggers trauma with us and to be honest, I am not exaggerating here. I am a therapist with liberal clients.

Shame on you to those that voted for him again. Shame on you as a person and fellow citizen for taking a civic duty and not even thinking about the person you are voting for and their short-comings and the fact they have been derelict in their duties, to the point of mass deaths of the citizens in this country. They lack compassion, they are a truly evil person. You voted for him. He is toxic. I hold you responsible for anything that happens in this country if he wins and I won't forget those of you that I know voted for him. You need to be held accountable. This was literally a life or death situation and you failed in your civic duty. You are responsible.

Even if Biden wins, (and it wouldn't have been like this if you voted well, this close), I still feel despair that I share a country with you. You are an embarrassment, I think you are contemptable as my neighbors and even relatives and I feel like you are ignorant fools. I hold you responsible if Trump wins again. You created your own misery, but we are all part of that, the half of you that DIDN'T want him to win. So you also did that to us.

Canada looks good. You can sit in your own cesspool, you are fools. You did this to the rest of us because of your ignorance and in some cases your own hate.

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